An update.

Well. Life around here is FINALLY beginning to get easier. I knew adjusting to two children would be difficult, but it's been a little more difficult than I'd imagined. Don't get me wrong. I am BEYOND happy to be home with the two of them but it is IMPOSSIBLE to get anything done around here. I can't even explain how badly I just want to CLEAN MY HOME. When one of them is sleeping the other is awake and when Kathryn is awake she is doing a great job at being a toddler. While I'm cleaning one mess, she is making another. That brings me to the Kathryn update.

Kathryn-
Kathryn is 3 and completely owning it these days. Although, some days she acts like she is 14 already. She questions my authority every chance she gets and reacts just the way you'd expect a 3 year old to act when she doesn't get her way. On the other hand she has completely outdone herself if the big sister department. I can't even describe how fabulous she is with Gavin. She is helpful, loving, way more understanding of his needs than I expected her to be. That isn't to say that she doesn't have her moments, but those are to be expected. She had a wonderful Christmas and got pretty much every thing she asked for. Bo and I figured she'd had a pretty eventful year and reacted very well so she deserved every bit of it. Just recently she's gotten very involved with dress up, make up, and beauty in general. Most days she dresses up and dances around the living room while holding Gavin and I captive and making us watch. Again, don't get me wrong, I love to see her dance, but 30 times in a row is a bit excessive. She is growing up so fast before my eyes that it makes me happy and sad at the same time. I remember leaving for the hospital to have Gavin and leaving my baby with her grandparents and coming home with Gavin and all of a sudden it hit me; She isn't a baby anymore. I'd been holding only Gavin for the past 2 days, when I got home and just hugged Kathryn I realized how big she was. It made me sad. Now I love watching her explore the world and find new things to love. She is so full of life and happiness. She reminds me of myself when I was a little girl and THAT makes me happy.






Now on to Gavin:

Gavin is SO very different from Kathryn. Kathryn was an easy going baby. She just rolled with the punches. Not Gavin... Gavin delivers the punch. That's not to say he isn't a happy baby, because he is. But by God, does he have a temper. It's kind of endearing, sometimes. He just knows what he wants and needs it in one second flat or you're going to hear about it. He's 3 months old now. He's finally coming in to his personality. My favorite thing to do is watch him and Kathryn interact. When she talks to him he just stars into her eyes and smiles. It melts my heart. You can tell that at a ripe 3 months he already loves her and looks up to her. It's funny really, I worried my entire pregnancy that I'd never be able to love another child the way I love Kathryn. I didn't think there was any more room in my heart, that Kathryn had filled it. As cliche as it comes off, my heart just grew and made room for him. He's beginning to try to talk and laugh. He coos a lot these days and will chuckle when he is really tickled, I am anxiously awaiting the days of hearty baby laughter. He tries to roll over from his back to his tummy and tummy to back. He's close on both sides, but no cigar yet. He's already in 6 month clothes. I've had to go out twice already and buy him a new wardrobe because he's outgrown his clothes. Thank God for Target. I am almost positive he is cutting a tooth, too. He has all of the signs of teething. Drooling, Gas, fussiness, chewing on everything, and even a white spot on his bottom gum. I'm just in denial about the whole thing because it's WAY early for teeth. Oh well, we'll see.

On a more boring note:
We're still looking for a house. We've found a few that we Love. I love this one especially. It is a little on the expensive range if we want to keep our monthly rent where it is now, but it never hurts to ask.

Babies are crying so I guess I'm done updating.

It's been a while.

I haven't updated in quite some time and a lot has happened since then. I'll try to give you the condensed story.

We found out we're having a BOY! A BOY! Me... having a BOY. I did not think that possible, but for once I was wrong. We're definitely naming him James. Middle name is still up in the air, though. I'm more than half way through this pregnancy. WOW. It's going by VERY fast this go round.

Shortly after we found out we're having a boy, the only other boy in our house besides Bo decided to run away. That's right, Diesel ran away. Talk about heartbroken. Bo, Kathryn and I searched high and low for that little sh*t. I put up flyer's, notified the humane society, posted ads on every single online classifieds site i could find and just kept coming up empty handed. It's been about 2 months now and I figure one of two things has happened. Worst case, he's dead. Best case, some one has taken him into their home and is keeping him. Either way, I'm pretty sure we're not getting him back. But I'm still holding out hope. If 6 months from now some one calls or emails me to tell me they've found him he'll be welcomed back in to our home with open arms.

Then there is Kathryn. Oh, Kathryn. The term "terrible two's" doesn't even begin to describe what we're dealing with right now. Don't get me wrong, she's still one of the sweetest children ever, but MY GOD, when she decides to push her limits and test her boundaries; it's something I've NEVER experienced before. Needless to say there are lots of time outs and threats of spankings and LOTS of "talking to's" going on in our house right now. She LOVES to tell me "NO", and not just a sweet little, "no thanks, I'm good" but a stern, bossy, pain in the ass sounding "NO" (complete with foot stomp and arm crossing). Most days i feel like a broken record because all I say OVER AND OVER is "Kathryn, please don't do that", "Kathryn, what did I just tell you?" and "If you do that again you're in serious trouble, I mean it." But alas, this too shall pass and I'll be yearning for these days back, because she only gets older and smarter from here.

Now to Marley. Marley is what happened when Bo kept nagging me about getting another dog and then one day Kathryn wakes up and looks at me with her sad little eyes and says "Mommy, can we get another puppy?". So... meet Marley. She's great. She's 7 weeks old and already a great dog. We're almost done house breaking her, she already knows SIT and we're working on STAY; and she learned her name in a day. Golden Retrievers are super intelligent anyway, which is why we got her. We're continuing to clicker train her. The lady we got her from is a dog trainer and has been one for 30 years. She started them early and we're just continuing her great work. This may be the most promising dog I've ever had. :)

Now on to me. My last day working will be June 30th. After that, I'm stay at home mom. I'm anxiously looking forward to it. It will be different, that's for sure. As long as I've been old enough to, I've had a job; so this will be a definite change. This change, however, is one I'm willing to make. I NEVER thought I'd be a woman who wanted to be a "stay at home mom". But lately I'm realizing that Kathryn and James won't be young forever. There are few precious years I actually get to be home with them before they start school, make friends, grow up, and then *poof* they're off to college. If i can stay home until James starts Kindergarten; I'd be a happy lady.

Bo is doing GREAT at his job. He's been managing the Lawrenceville branch for Peoples Loan and Finance for a while now and he's doing amazing. I'm beyond proud of him. The only drawback of this job is eventually we have to move. I don't want to move. I like our home now. I like being close to family. We'll be moving from Powder Springs to Gwinnett or even farther. I'm a creature of habit and i don't accept change well. I've pitched every fit imaginable, I've ignored the situation, and I've flat out said "no". But at the end of the day, I know it has to happen. It just makes me sad to think about it.

Anyway, I'm done updating for now. Thanks for reading.

updates on life, and things of the sort.

I haven't been sleeping well lately; yet it has nothing to do with pregnancy and everything to do with these pesky dreams I keep having. It's literally almost non-stop; all night, every night. It's always a different building but always the same scenario. I'm in a building for something -an appointment, work, whatever- and i have to go to the very top floor. I get on the elevator, ride all the way to the penultimate level (usually level 29, and I need to be at 30) and the elevator comes to a sudden halt, falls slightly to one side and drops about an inch. I'm usually not alone on the elevator either. So everyone, myself included, is looking around dumbfounded and scared. In my dream I can not only feel my anxiety, but the anxiety of every single person in that elevator with me, it's overwhelming. About that time the elevator falls another couple of inches and people begin to panic. We pry the doors open, but we're too far below level 29 that no one can escape. Right about then is when the free fall begins, i swear I'm falling for what feels like an eternity; falling in slow motion. In my head I'm just trying to figure out some way to NOT die.

That's when I usually wake up.

The other night I actually hit the bottom, but no body died. In that dream I remember I was going to the doctor for a check up so I got out of the elevator and started climbing the stairs, but i kept running in to dead ends and locked doors. Eventually i sat down in the stairwell and woke up.

When i wake up from these dreams I usually can't fall asleep again for quite a while, and when I do... they just start all over.

Anyway, on a happier note: Kathryn and I visited Watkinsville for the day on Saturday. I got to spend some much needed time with my Mom and her side of the family. Kathryn had a BLAST. She played with my mom most of the day and then ran around my Papa and Gran-Gran's front yard barefoot for about an hour (she doesn't go barefoot outside much, but i figured we were in the country and that's okay.) At one point she made every one take off their shoes and go barefoot in the front yard. It's nice to know that no matter where Bo and I end up living we'll have family close that love us and we love.

On another note; I'm SO ready to be done working. Figuring out the money is still scary, but other than that I'm at peace with losing my job; it truly is probably the best thing that could have happened. It forced me to open my eyes and decide what I wanted to do.

I kind of broke down yesterday on my way home from work while i was on the phone with Bo(like i said; figuring out money is scary and weighing on my mind quite heavily these days). I was telling Bo how terrible I felt that we weren't going to have money to give our kids the things they'll want and he reminded me of just another reason why I love him so much. He said "Melissa, don't you ever say that. Any one can spoil their kid. We spoil Kathryn every day, she gets a brand new toy every week, but at what expense? We hardly ever get to see her because we're always working. You're going to be giving our children the best gift of all. They'll get to spend every day with you and get your TIME." and he's right. Any one can spoil a kid the way they want to be spoiled, but not every one can love their kid the way they want to be loved.

I just have to remember that. It's difficult... VERY difficult. But I'm willing to sacrifice money for the wonderful memories I'm going to make with my children. They're not going to be babies forever, and eventually they'll not want to spend time with me. I should take advantage of that while I can. It's the best decision I've ever made.

I can't wait to be a stay at home mom.

My subconscious may be filled with fear, anxiety, confusion, anger and even a little sadness; but conscious me is choosing to humble, grateful, and happy for this gift I've been given.

Let's talk about Kathryn.

I've been so caught up in updating about new baby that I've neglected my favorite little lady on this blog. Kathryn Fay. Can I just say that every day i wake up and am completely amazed and baffled that Bo and I created someone so extremely beautiful, kind, and smart. I mean truly, she's amazing. I can't wait to be home with her all the time. My favorite thing to do these days it just speak with her... it's amazing how much her little brain knows and a mere 2 years and 9 months. The most exciting (yet, a little bitter sweet) thing she's accomplished lately? L's. The girl has her L's down pat. She used to say pway, siwwy, waugh, wove. Now it's play, silly, laugh, love. What they say is true... they grow up too fast.

Kathryn is also VERY into helping Mom and Dad in the kitchen now. If we're cooking, you better believe she's getting her red chair and helping us mix, stir, pour, measure... whatever. To be honest, it terrifies me because I'm so scared one day she'll meander in there while the stove is on and touch something she isn't supposed to (I did it when i was a kid). We've explained to her that the stove is OFF LIMITS and it WILL hurt her. Most 2 year olds would have to be told that a second time, Kathryn now just reminds us when we're near it that the oven is hot and it WILL hurt us... and tells us to be careful. I can tell you now, she did NOT get that from me. When I was a kid I threw caution to the wind and just did what was fun. She is C.A.R.E.F.U.L. about EVERYTHING. She won't go down steps she'd never been down before with out holding your hand. She won't walk on a sidewalk or in a parking lot with out you re-assuring her that you're right next to her and won't let anything happen to her (and even then she's too worried about the cars that half way there she's begging to be picked up).

She has also recently learned to hold her nose and put her face underwater, but this took a LOT of coaxing and bribery. (it all goes back to the careful gene) She is scared that water will get up her nose or something bad will happen. She'll only stick her head underwater for a brief second, but she's doing it, so we're that much closer to learning to swim.

What else... Oh, she's known her alphabet for a while, but now she knows it by LOOKING at it, and she knows it out of order. She can look at a word and spell it out loud. It makes me proud. So we're that much closer to reading.

Kathryn also, apparently, learned how to create photo albums in my facebook from my iPhone. Wow.

It truly amazes me how quickly kids pick up on technology (I'm going to stop that paragraph right there before I end up sounding like a 90 year old woman.)

Anyhow, I guess I should get back to work, for now.

Thanks for reading!

my doctor scolded me yesterday...

apparently, losing 3 pounds since you've found out your pregnant will get you very scolded by your doctor.

I don't know how else to say this... I'M EATING! I SWEAR!

My first doctor visit I weighed 146. My second doctor visit I weighed 144.5, oops. Yesterday I weighed 143, uh oh.

I don't really know what to do. I eat, quite a lot actually. It's just that before i was pregnant i ate fast food for pretty much every meal. Now I can't stomach it. Every once in a while I get a craving for a Big Mac or a Double Cheeseburger, but mainly I want foods that aren't greasy.

I have never had a doctor tell me that i MUST start eating some pure unadulterated FAT before, until yesterday. Just the sound of that sentence makes me queasy. BUT... I'm trying. I was able to stomach half a Big Mac yesterday and some french fries. So today, I'll eat something I'll actually enjoy like mashed potatoes and green beans, oooh... or some soup. That sounds good.

In other news I'll be going on May 28th @ 4:15pm to have my sonogram done. Hopefully then we'll find out the sex of the baby! I'm VERY excited. With Kathryn I had this GUT feeling that I was having a girl, i just felt it in my bones... and I was right. This go round; I got nothing. I'm just blank. Which makes me think maybe it's a boy?

Boys scare me. For a while I thought I wanted a boy, but girls are just SO easy. Kathryn is just so EASY. I know NOTHING about boys. Nothing I tell you. Only that when they're older they'll be chasing my daughter and i don't like that. At this point I'll just be happy with a healthy baby.

I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that I'm 99.99% sure this is my last kid. I just think 2 is enough... and i really don't want kids after 30 so I'm just going to stop now. I'll do a temporary fix for now and if i haven't changed my mind in 4 years, I'll get a permanent fix.

Anyway, I'll update more when there is more to update about.

OH... we got a dog. His name is Diesel. This is him. He's great. Kathryn loves him.

an update on life.

Life is taking quite an interesting turn... quite interesting indeed.

I found out last week that after this month (give or take a few weeks) I'll be unemployed. My company is WAY downsizing. At first I was terrified...seeing how I'm pregnant and already have one kid, but the more I thought on it. This truly is God's answer to my prayers. It is in NO way the answer I was expecting, but an answer all the same.
See, Bo and I have been worried sick and racking our brains trying to figure out what to do about child care once the little peanut is born. Bo's grandmother is GREAT with Kathryn, but she's 74 years old and, as she puts it, retired from newborns. I have nothing against day care, except that it costs ridiculous amounts of money for 1 kid, let alone two.

So... with that being said, starting whenever my current job tells me to get packin' I'm going to be a stay at home Mom for a while. We're scaling WAAAAY back on our bills and living on a budget. I'm excited about this. I truly truly am.

In other news, I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a check up on little peanut. They're doing a "quad-screening". I have NOT an idea what that means, but I do know that after that they're scheduling me for a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby. VERY EXCITED! I've already started thinking of names, but nothing definite yet.

I'll let you know how it goes.

LOVE.

So... what's new?

Life is seemingly getting better. The 1st trimester fog is slowly lifting and more days than not I don't feel like i want to vomit all day long. (today just happens to NOT be one of those days) I actually DID throw up today, twice. Once being IN MY CAR on my way to work. Not fun. Not fun at all. Other than that minor set back, my house is staying cleaner and my family seems happier. You know that saying "happy wife, happy life" I'm starting to believe it. When I'm not happy, they're not happy.