Goodbye

My great grandmother passed away yesterday. She was 97 years old and every bit as ready to go as we, who loved her, were ready to keep her. 97 is a long time to walk the earth. 27 years is a long time to be able to say one has a great grandmother. i was able to say i had a great grandfather until i was 24. I've been lucky. I've been exceptionally lucky. Not only did I have great grandparents, i KNEW them. I LOVED them. They were wonderful people. Any one that knew them, knows that they lived long fulfilling happy lives. Both Daddy Bill and Nanny did not have "quick" passings. Their bodies weakened over time until they finally couldn't fight anymore. It was no surprise yesterday when my mom called to tell me Nanny had gone home to be with Daddy Bill. I know she's no longer in pain, I know she is a trillion times happier now than she was yesterday. She's probably a trillion times happier now than she was at her happiest moment on earth. Why shouldn't she be? She's in heaven. She's back with Daddy Bill. 

I know I'm allowed to mourn her death. So why do I feel silly being so sad? I'd prepared myself for this. I guess all the preparation in the world is worth a hill of beans when your loved one is actually gone. I just keep thinking about their home... empty. All of the Christmas Eves spent there (my favorite memories), singing Christmas songs, eating home made fudge, sitting by the wood burning stove and feeling at home with such a loving family. I'll never be in that room with either of them again. That is hard to swallow. It's easy enough to accept, but hard as hell to swallow.

 I wish my children and my husband could have known the both of them. Not MET them but KNOWN them. They were exceptional people. They were hard working, god fearing, family loving people. People today just aren't wired the way they were. Married so young and madly in love until their deaths. Whether I've ever known it before now or not, they GREATLY influenced my life. Looking at them, so madly in love, i unconsciously decided to NEVER settle for less than that.They convinced that marriage is NOT a temporary thing. Through good and bad, marriage is worth the work it takes. They taught me that. 

I'm really going to miss her. I really miss him. 

Rest in peace my GREAT grandparents. I'll forever love you Daddy Bill and Nanny.